Cutty Sark

Review by: TOModera

Special thanks (I think) to CaptainPortugal for the dram I’m reviewing today. It’s quite… special. He threw it in as a bonus, so.. I get to try it. And that’s a good thing.

So I’ve helped my wife clean up the house, have worked any cleaning chemicals out of my nose, and I’m ready for my review present to myself.

And it’s…. Cutty Sark. Well, hey, stop now. I’ve seen some pretty decent reviews out there for this one, and as much as I malign Blends, I need to stop being such a snob. I mean, it’s named after a Famous Clipper ship of the same name, and the main office is 10 miles away.

It was made in 1923 by Berry Brothers & Rudd, and trust me, after being to their London office, I’m impressed by them. They’ve been around a long time. Not to mention it has received brown and silver medals for Blends by the San Fransisco World Spirits competitions. And Recently too!

I mean, just because it’s cheap doesn’t mean I should be judging it! So come on, let’s see if I’ve found a new great sipping drink…

However I’m only going to pour 1 ounce for now… to savour it… I think…. Oh fuck I’m afraid.

Distillery: La Martiniquaise.

Bottler: Distillery Bottling.

Region: Blend.

ABV: 40%.

Age: Unknown.

Cask type: Unknown.

Price: $24.95 (CAD).

Color: Whitey yellow.

Nose: Honey, off-ham, mango, sour grapes, linen, yeast

Okay, big amount of honey at first, and some mango… that’s good.

Granted it also smells like linen, new yeast, and ham that has gone bad… so, that’s not so great. But the ham subsides, so it’s not too bad. Nice and light.

Taste: Soft caramel, raspberry, pepper, hot sauce milkshake, mushroom, watery

Nice amount of caramel, a little fruit, and then… it’s like drinking thick hot sauce.

It burns SO much. And then… nothing. Turns to just a watery, mushroom soup.

No upsides. Turn back while you still can. Why is this being used as positive enforcement by me?

Finish: Plum, unripe cantaloupe, peanut, vodka, acid, metal, tonic water

Oww. Oww. Oh made, make it stop. Reminds me of drinking straight vodka, but not good straight vodka… like bad straight vodka. Like Hemped infused Vodka (never again).

Conclusion: Just… skip this one. There are better blends. It’s not fun, it’s just all bad water and off notes that taste good then leave. It’s like a rich nerd’s party in High School. The only reason to stay is to get drunk on cheap or free booze. Though it did smell like Honey at first, so… if you run out of honey to nose, this could work.

Final Score: 45.

Scoring Legend:

  • 95-100: As good as it gets. Jaw-dropping, eye-widening, unforgettable whisky.
  • 90-94: Sublime, a personal favorite in its category.
  • 85-89: Excellent, a standout dram.
  • 80-84: Quite good. Quality stuff.
  • 75-79: Decent whisky worth tasting.
  • 70-74: Meh. It’s definitely drinkable, but it can do better.
  • 60-69: Not so good. I might not turn down a glass if I needed a drink.
  • 50-59: Save it for mixing.
  • 0-49: Blech.

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