Review by: The Muskox

I had a whole week’s worth of reviews lined up to post, but I’m putting all that on hold to tell you about this whisky I had last night. A little while ago FederalAgents found a whole shelf full of dusty Scott’s Selections bottlings at a small liquor store, one thing led to another, and last night we had like 12 people on a Zoom call drinking the samples.

Since being blown away by the long-since discontinued Flora & Fauna bottling, I’ve been on the lookout for more 80s Bladnoch. I was hoping this whisky would capture that same magic, but it was something else entirely…

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Distillery: Bladnoch.

Bottler: Scott’s Selection.

Region: Lowlands.

ABV: 55.1%. Cask strength.

Age: 19-20 years. Distilled in 1984. Bottled in 2004.

Cask type: Unknown.

Price: N/A, sample.

Color: Gold. Natural Color. Non-chill-filtered.

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Nose: Whoa, a giant pile of funk. Big weird earthy malt, overripe pineapple, kiwi, strawberry, preserved lemon peel, and fermenting ginger. Fired clay, wet hay, and mud. Gooey caramel and sweet toffee. As it sits in the glass, more funks show up: It gets briny, then menthol, then even a little lactic. Reminds me a bit of that Lochside.

Palate: Medium texture, little heat. Arrives sweet with green bananas, cream, and malt, then a wave of farmyard funk and macerated strawberries. A bit of a soapy note comes in here, but not in a deal-breaking way. The middle of the dram is all funky malt and tobacco. As we head towards the finish, menthol, sea salt, and sage emerge, as well as a distinct note of green bell pepper.

Finish: Medium-long. At first, it was nothing but strawberry candy and mud-slicked malt. Something like the pink foam my grandfather would skim off the top of his homemade strawberry jam. With time, varnished walnut wood and an almost agave-ish herbal and mineral character emerge.

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Possible SMWS bottling name: “It gets funkier“

Conclusion: Insane. And delicious. Some other notes provided by the Zoomers include “freezerburn” and “the taste of when you clean your electric razor, shave, and then lick your lips”. This whisky has every funk note under the sun, and some that I think have only been detected in the sunless mountain funk caves of Turkmenistan, or under Bernard Purdie’s armpits. And yet, it was so much fun to drink. I really love the malt-funk and pineapple-funk especially. I’ve been told this is exceedingly funky for Bladnoch, so I’m not sure when I’ll get to experience something like this again. Hopefully soon.

Let it be known that nearly everyone else at the tasting hated this whisky.

Final Score: 89.

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Scoring Legend:

• 95-100: As good as it gets. Jaw-dropping, eye-widening, unforgettable whisky.
• 90-94: Sublime, a personal favorite in its category.
• 85-89: Excellent, a standout dram.
• 80-84: Quite good. Quality stuff.
• 75-79: Decent whisky worth tasting.
• 70-74: Meh. It’s definitely drinkable, but it can do better.
• 60-69: Not so good. I might not turn down a glass if I needed a drink.
• 50-59: Save it for mixing.
• 0-49: Blech.