Glen Fohdry 12 Year

Review by: The Muskox

Phew, I’ve finally moved to the US and settled in, so I can get back to writing reviews.

I thought it was fitting to restart my reviews with perhaps the most American scotch of them all. This is Glen Fohdry, one of liquor retailer Total Wine’s house brands. This is the stuff that all their staff are trained to recommend to people who don’t know any better. Nice people. Their brands are broadly hated, but this one is at least bottled at a respectable 47.1% and is non-chillfiltered, which are pleasant surprises. I wonder if it’s any good!

Distillery: Unknown.

Bottler: Total Wine Spirits Direct.

Region: Speyside.

ABV: 47.1%.

Age: 12 years.

Cask type: Unknown.

Color: Bright gold. Natural Color. Non-chill-filtered.

Nose: Oddly hot and solventy. Cheap apple cider, lemon pledge, brown bananas, shortbread biscuits, and a little vanilla.

Palate: Thick texture, oddly slimy. Arrives slightly tart, with mixed citrus, sugared peaches, and fragile cereal notes. Develops to charred wood, sappy bananas, and canned apples. Some crystallized honey on the back end.

Finish: Medium-long, straightforwardly sweet. Banana Runts, lemon, crabapples fallen on the ground, honey. Artificial somehow.

Possible SMWS bottling name: “American cider industry decimated by Prohibition”

Conclusion: Despite my high hopes, this is just a bad whisky. Off-puttingly bad. Fragile, simplistic, oddly artificial, somehow even rotten. In addition to the usual branding reasons, I can see why whichever distillery this is from wouldn’t want to have its name on the label. It’s bad enough to have put me in a bad mood. Feh.

Final Score: 57.

Scoring Legend:

  • 95-100: As good as it gets. Jaw-dropping, eye-widening, unforgettable whisky.
  • 90-94: Sublime, a personal favorite in its category.
  • 85-89: Excellent, a standout dram.
  • 80-84: Quite good. Quality stuff.
  • 75-79: Decent whisky worth tasting.
  • 70-74: Meh. It’s definitely drinkable, but it can do better.
  • 60-69: Not so good. I might not turn down a glass if I needed a drink.
  • 50-59: Save it for mixing.
  • 0-49: Blech.

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